A psalmist visits a biblical counselor.
What would happen if the Psalmist who wrote Psalm 42 (NASB version) went to a biblical counselor of the type I have consulted? My secondary emphasis in seminary was in Nouthetic biblical counseling (see footnote). Over the years, I sought help from my Nouthetic peers and fellow pastors trained in this type of biblical counseling. Sadly, only some of what they offered was helpful. Most of it was not only unhelpful but quite harmful. This is not to say all biblical counselors are bad advisors or unbiblical in much of their counsel. I have friends who are biblical counselors and I would recommend them. However, over the past several years I’ve not only heard quite a bit of spiritual nonsense but dozens of people have told me their scary stories. These stories of ridicule, condescension, and very bad counsel seem to be pervasive. Rather than helping, this type of counseling has been more than harmful and never hopeful.
I have to ask how it is fellow biblical counselors are coming up with such nonsense? Either I was asleep in all those classes and during the practicum or they are pulling materials from their notes and using it mechanically? Perhaps they counsel out of their fundamentalism, moralism, or Pharisaism? I can’t figure it out. Yet, so many of my friends and acquaintances tell me storiess that are appalling. And it’s not merely one or two bad counselors; it’s as if these counselors or pastor-counselors admonish people from the same miserable script.
That had me wondering: what if the psalmist went to one of these biblical counselors I went to or to one others have encountered? What might he say? Taking the Nouthetic-speak others and I have received and the words of Psalm 42, here is the counsel the fictional biblical counselor (BC) might (probably) say to the psalmist (P):
BC: So, what brings you here today?
P: I’ve been very sad, even depressed lately.
BC: Depressed? Well, you do realize depression is a sin don’t you? Let’s explore this deeper. Why do you think you are depressed and what have you done about it?
P: My enemies have been attacking me quite a bit and it seems relentless.
BC: Your enemies? Really now. You know you are supposed to love your enemies, pray for those who are spiteful toward you, and be kind to them, right?
P: But I do that. And I pray. Fervently so. I’ll cry out to God and tell him,
As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?
BC: It’s good you are praying. However, your prayer sounds, uhm… squishy. Are you an artist or something?
P: I’m a musician and I’ve been a worship leader.
BC: Oh, I see. I suggest you pray in a way that’s more specific and concrete. Your kind of prayers are too flowery. Too romantic. That’s the problem with Christians today. Prayers like that sounds like Jesus is your boyfriend or something. You’re allowing your emotions to get the best of you. As a Christian, you need to be more precise with your words and be more disciplined with your feelings. Remember this: facts are the engine and your emotions is the caboose.
P: Oh? How will that really help how I’m feeling? My tears have been my food day and night.
BC: Hey! Do you see what you just did? It seems y ou have a bad habit of using flowery language. That needs to change. You need to repent of that so you will get better. If you can be specific and diagnose the real problem then you can begin to see change. With biblical change, you won’t be depressed.
What could be so bad in your life that you feel this way? What bad thinking is going on?
P: My enemies say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
BC: Seriously? You’re not being truthful. Do they really say that to you all day long? Every day? Unless you acknowledge the facts of your situation your life won’t change.
But let’s explore how you are thinking about them. You know that you are not supposed to focus on them and what they are doing, don’t you? It’s critical you look to your own heart and see where you are sinning and what kind of wrong thinking you have. Here, these are the steps you need to take to make lasting change:
First, you need to pray the right way. Pray for your enemies and just be kind to them.
Second, you need to deal with your own sin. It’s not your business to change their hearts. It takes two to tango. You must not be overly concerned with what they say or do to you. It is also crucial for you to examine your soul to see how you are treating these so-called enemies. What are you doing to provoke them? How are you sinning against them?
P: But I have been trying to figure out what I’ve been doing that would anger them or be the cause of their hatred toward me. I can say with a clear conscience I am not doing anything that justifies what they are doing to me. That is especially true of my boss who happens to be my father-in-law.
BC: Obviously, you are not searching deep enough. You have to be brutally honest and discover how you are sinning against them or against him. Can you do that? You need to.
Third, you need to get back to church and be involved regularly. Like every week.
P: That’s one of the problems. My father-in-law is my boss. He claims to be a Christian but keeps me on the work schedule so that I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off. He won’t allow me to attend worship.
BC: Hmmm. That’s hard for me to believe. Are you being truthful? If he’s a Christian, then he would understand and give you time to attend church services.
P: I’ve asked him several times but he gets furious. He calls me names and says I’m too religious a Christian. He then makes fun of me and so do my workmates. It’s relentless.
BC: See! You do know what you need to do. You need to cry out to God, go to worship, and preach the Gospel to yourself all the time. That will correct your bad thinking and fix your wrong emotions.
P: But I do pray! I constantly cry out to God! I say to myself,
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the]help of His presence.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
BC: Okay. That’s pretty close to what you need to do. God is big enough to honor your prayer and make a way for you to attend services. You have to trust him more. You also need to go to the Cross. Just take it all to the Cross.
P: What does that even mean, “Take it to the Cross?” My pastor says that a lot but he never explains it. I do tell God,
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.
BC: Hmmm. Yeah, that’s good for a song but we aren’t talking songs here. That kind of prayer will get you nowhere. You just need to prayer for your enemies and you just need to pray for your own heart to change. You need to bring your problems to Jesus.
P: But I do!
I say to God my rock, “Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me,
While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
BC: Uhm, again, that’s close to what you should do. But here’s the problem with your prayer and thinking: First, God hasn’t forgotten you. That’s just bad theology. You need to study the Bible more. Get with your pastor or a good Bible teacher at your church so they can teach you some solid doctrine. If you have right doctrine you will have the right kind of life.
Second, why are you concerned about your enemy? Perseverating on what your so-called enemy is doing or saying is just making him an idol of your heart. I suspect most of your feelings come from thinking too much that you are oppressed. It seems you are exaggerating a perceived problem. It’s all in the theatre of your mind, you know? Be truthful now, is it really that big a deal your so-called enemy is saying some things to you? What you really need to do too is to think about what you are saying to him. How are you treating him or your peers? There is just no way people would act like that if you weren’t doing something to them. You need to confess your sins to him and then to God. Stop your sinful thoughts and acts toward your enemy. If you do that, you will be able to reconcile with him and that will take care of your depression. After all, depression is a symptom. See?
You also have a problem with approbation lust. You are way too concerned about what they think or say. There is quite a bit of truth in that old saying, “Sticks and stone will break your bones but words can never hurt you.” Confess to God your sin of approbation and ask God to help you stop making this so-called enemy an idol. Also, stop labeling him as your enemy. If you think he is, then you will believe he is. You’ll be surprised by how doing that will change your life!
These are the things you can do to help you. There is hope for you, so you should leave from here very encouraged.
P: Well, I do pray about that. I often pray and remind myself,
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
BC: Oh, nice! Telling God you are hoping in him and praising him is what preaching the Gospel to yourself is all about!
P: It is?
BC: But one thing you should just stop doing is having that much concern about your feelings or your countenance. Yes, God is your help and he will help you do the things you need to do to break the sinful cycle of depression but he’s not that concerned about your feelings or how you look.
Well, my next appointment is here. You have the list of sins you need to repent of and the things you can do to quit being depressed. Practice them every day and we’ll meet again next week to see how well you’ve done your homework. This should give you lots of hope. Think about that and not how you’re feeling or about your enemy. Oh, and you might want to work harder on not being so poetic. Perhaps if you stop listening to certain music and quit composing, then you could make those changes more quickly. Getting into solid Bible study and saturating yourself with doctrine is what will really help you.
Okay, go with hope.
Nouthetic counseling is a philosophy and school of counseling was developed by Dr. Jay Adams. There have been other Christian counseling organizations that call themselves biblical counseling but the majority are integrationists. That means they integrate biblical insights with psychology and psychiatric findings. Nouthetic counseling rejected any form of integration and has claimed that the Bible is sufficient for all matters of life. Further, they claimed that all other approaches to human relationships and mental issues are spiritual in nature, rooted in sin and the only hope for real resolution was insights from the Bible.
The field of Nouthetic counseling grew to influence pastors, churches, and counselors. Many counselors were taught Jay Adams’ approach through seminars, in seminaries, and Bible schools. CCEF (Christian Counseling and Education Foundation) was essentially started by Dr. Adams and was very closely connected with Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. A branch of CCEF was started in San Diego, connected with Westminster Seminary in California. That became IBCD (Institute in Biblical Counseling and Discipleship). Other training centers popped up in various schools and seminaries, including The Masters College (University). With so many new Nouthetic Counselors, leaders in the movement saw fit to have a professional oversight group where these biblical counselors could seek professional validation and gain additional training. This group became the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors (NANC) that later became the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). The term Nouthetic has been dropped and these counselors are simply known as Biblical Counselors.
Yes, the counselor was right about this one thing: remind yourself of the Gospel. While it is a mantra among certain Christian circles, most of the time people who say it don’t explain it. Some who do try to explain it, get it wrong. If you want to read the core of the Gospel, which means good news, then go to 1 Corinthians 15. If you want a bit of an explanation, then check out this post: Do You Know God and His Good News?
Reading the sections in the New Testament to understand the Good News of Jesus is very helpful. Sitting under preaching that puts the focus on Jesus and what he has already done for you in his perfect works and in his death on the Cross for your sins, and participating in the Lord’s Supper, which displays God’s mercy and grace to you through Jesus are solid places to start.
If you need help in this, contact me and we can chat about it.